What does it look like I’m Doing?!

If you haven’t figured out by now I am continuously impressed with peoples complete idiocy.  In this instance i don’t know if it is that people are impressed by big cameras and want an excuse to stop and talk to you or if people are really this thick.

I pack up all my camera gear (I LOVE photography and have done some professional work) and head out to the Canadian Wilderness with the goal of photographing star trails (If mother nature will co-operate).

On arrival at our camp site we set up our tent and all the gear we seem to think necessary for 2 days in the wilderness.  Gear which we have spent a small fortune on but rairly actually use.  As it turns out 2 days survival in the wilderness with stores and people all around you does not require much gear.  Anywho, we get all set up and I wait patiently for night to fall.  The whole time praying that mother nature will allow my photographic ambition to unfold.  Please no clouds, Please no clouds!

When the sun goes down I look up to the sky and do my happy dance because mother nature is FINALLY going to allow me to get this shot!  The photo will take upwards of two hours to capture and I am looking forward to it.

So I grab my camera gear and head down to the lake.  I want to get the stars trailing over the lake and I am hoping that I can also catch the trails in the reflection of the water.

Back to my story.

I put my camera on the tripod and focus it right out, I attach my remote shutter and adjust all the settings to the correct positions and I am looking through the viewfinder when this woman appears out of nowhere and scares the bijezus right out of me.  Doesn’t she know there are bears in this bitch and you should never sneak up on another camper in the dark?  If I had had a gun I would have shot her right in the face.

Bear Woman – “Ummmm what are you doing?”

I am trying to recover from my heart attack of course! 

Me- I’m sorry?

What does it look like I am doing? Obviously I am preparing a 5 course meal

Bear woman – No I mean with your camera?

*long pause as I ponder her question… Is she really pointing at my camera on a tripod and asking what I am doing?  Isn’t it obvious I am taking pictures?

Me – I am taking pictures?

Bear woman – Of what?  Its DARK out!

Ahhhh. I see, we get to the point of all this.

Me:  I am taking pictures of the stars.

Bear woman:  OOOHHH… can I see?

Well I was setting up when you came and scared the mother fucking shit out of me… What would you like to see the wet spot on my pants?

Me:  I haven’t taken any yet.  This will take a few hours to capture, if you want to come by (with bells around your neck so I hear you coming) in about two hours I will let you see.

Bear woman:  TWO HOURS?….

And so starts the photography lesson!  It happens all the time.  Inevitably the person who I give the ad-lib photography lesson to then offends me by saying “that’s a nice camera, I bet it takes great pictures!  I should get one”  Actually Hun, I take good pictures the camera is just a tool, and If you don’t learn how to use it you might as well save the money and continue to use your camera phone!

This happens to me almost every time I take out my camera in any public place.  During professional photo shoots that people are paying for I have to try to politely refuse the ad-lib photography lessons.

Image

The moral of the story?  Never sneak up on a bitch in the woods.  You might get shot!

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About batty wisdom

I am just a big city Canadian girl, watching humanity unfold in the craziest ways and taking notes. Here I will share with you my expereinces and observations, come by often, in a place like this there is never a dull moment!
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